Healing Sexual Trauma From Childhood
Today I would like to share a deeply moving transcript from one of my hypnosis sessions. My client was born in India and migrated with her mother and a brother to the United States when she was ten years old. For about two years (it started when S was about eight years old), back in India, S was sexually assaulted by her step brother & regularly bullied and beaten by another step brother. I first saw S about 3.5-4 years ago. She came for an energy healing / Reiki session and had a powerful release which allowed her to connect with what we call in my field An Inner Child (or children, sometimes there are many to integrate back to the psyche of a wounded child). This treatment inspired S to move to a new clinic in New York City (S works as a physician and wasn't happy with her previous work environment) and make some changes in her life. This spring we met again for another energy medicine session, followed by a hypnosis/past life regression therapy. S was in not so good state when I saw her; she was coping with the trauma symptoms using food, occasionally alcohol. Symptoms included severe social anxiety, feeling unsafe (very small inside), fatigue, binge eating, which can be a form of dissociation (numbing of the emotions, escaping from the body through food induced coma. S suffered from a binge-starve cycle that slows down metabolism, wrecks energy levels, and causes weight to fluctuate). Once in trance, S was able to connect to the trauma memories with no severe abreactions (Abreaction is a psychoanalytical term for reliving an experience to purge it of its emotional excesses—a type of catharsis.)
I'm happy to share that S is doing a lot better now. We had another hypnosis/past life regression after the one I am sharing here and most likely will continue regression therapy until all symptoms fade away. In a case of a prolonged trauma, one or two sessions are likely not enough to fully heal. It might be another six months of regular work (once or twice a month is more than enough, if the client is implementing changes brought about by the subconscious mind).
Enjoy the story. I hope you will find it inspirational. Please share with those whom you think can benefit from regression therapy.
From The Black Hole with Light,
S – client
A – practitioner
S: I'm by the waterfall.
A: is the water falling down on you?
S: Not directly. I'm in the pond, by the rocks.
A: What does your body feel and look like?
S: It's young. i'm a young girl.
A: How do you feel in this natural environment?
S: Like a child, I want to play.
A: Do you know this place? Do you go there often? Is there a feeling of familiarity?
S: No, it’s like a trip or something.
A: What do you do in the water?
S: I splash, look around, I’m still holding on to the rocks.
A: Do you see other people around?
S: I kind of don’t want to see other people. I enjoy being there alone.
A: What do you do next?
S: I let go of the rock. I'm just walking in the water, its shallow.
A: Come closer to the waterfall, go under the waterfall, taste the water, let it pass through your system. (Client swallows and tastes the water, smiles)
A: It’s joyful, isn't it? Tell me more...
S: I feel very safe, nothing can touch me, and nothing can harm me. I'm just happy (starts to cry). I feel like Im in this little body, tiny body.
A: How old are you?
S: Five or six years old.
A: Look at your reflection in the water. Look at your face and tell me what features do you see.
S: I have bangs!!! (Client laughs with a surprise) I have a slightly tanned but kind of light skin, my hair is black.
A: Straight or curly?
S: It’s straight. The image is shifting between short and long hair.
A: Is the child happy?
S: Yes, but only when she is left alone. (Client is crying)
She feels so alone.
A: Allow yourself to feel the emotions, this is a temporary state. It will help you connect deeper. Start moving the body, walk out of the water. Can you describe the landscape?
S: I'm on the side of the hill, it's very mossy. I see fresh, green moss growing on the hill.
A: Are you bare feet? Can you touch the moss with your feet?
A: Let her show you where she lives, lets go to her home.
S: She doesn’t want to take me there. She takes me to a swings set.
A: Let's swing. Feel the body move up and down, the air touching your skin. It feels very freeing. Lets amplify the feeling of Freedom. Take a deep breath in, make the sensations stronger. What do you see around?
S: Trees, it's like a forest around. There is no one else near by.
A: It's a little unusual, right? A little girl playing by herself,
A: I tapped the client forehead to help her connect deeper to the story.
What is happening next? What scene do you see?
S: She is at school, she is wearing a brown uniform, with a white shirt and braun tie. She is older, about 8-9 years old. Im entering the school, walking toward the classroom.
A: Find your seat, look at the books on your desk.
S: This is my classroom.
A: So you are in India?
A: How do you feel?
S: I don’t know, Im responding to whatever is happening.
A: And what is happening around you?
S: Kids are talking, before the class starts. Everyone is sort of chatting away. I'm just looking around at people. The class begins. I think it might be Hindi, my language. There's a teacher but I can't really see her clearly.
A: I tap the forehead of the client and ask her to zoom into the teacher, so she can see details.
S: She is wearing an Indian sari, she has a bun, looks strict. It’s strange, there's a sense of well-being that has nothing to do with the present situation at home. I know this is going to end soon. There is a knowing that this isn't going to be forever. So it's almost like I can't pay attention to it, b/c I know it is temporary.
A: But we know that it has been affecting your reality for quite some time.
A: Let's explore this present situation, take me to your home.
S: There is a gate, I go in. I have two dogs, one of them barks a lot and it's kind of getting a little scary because, uh, two older kids like hit and torture the dog. It doesn't feel good. I feel like, yeah, everything's so dark. I'm going to just feel it.
A: I want you to take a deep breath and inhale this darkness, because there is information there. We'll clear it once and for all, allow yourself to sync into that darkness. Go into the house.
S: The darkness is all around the house, and every room feels like it's another pit of darkness.
A: Walk through with knowing that you're safe, that you can watch and you can describe. Describe to me the quality of that darkness. How are you experiencing it?
S: It’s like a choking sensation.
A: Do you feel it in your throat?
A: Okay. Let's bring quality of the soothing water from the waterfall into this experience. We're going to be going back and forth between this waterfall and the house to make sure that you can see clearer, deeper. You can take a sip from this water. So we can clear the throat and clear that energy from your system. Take me to the kitchen. What's happening in the house? Are your parents there?
S: I don't know where my mom is. I almost never know where she is. There's a, there's a servant cooking. He is short - a dwarf. He's not a normal height, he's older and I like him. I feel safer with him.
A: Take me to your room.
S: It's like an entrance from one room into another room. So it's like almost a room within a room kind of thing. You have to step down to get there.
A: Okay. Step down. Is it like going to the dungeon?
S: Yes, very dark energy as well.
A: Would you say you feel trapped there?
S: Very much so, especially in the evening. I don't know when the… boys…, when the sun goes down it's the worst. It's like feeling trapped, feeling contractive, feeling like no one's there to help.
A: Feel that for just a little longer. Let's fast forward to the night, because you know what happens at night, right? Walk me through the scene. Know that you're safe. You can watch it like a movie.
S: Okay, I know what's going to happen. My brother is in the bed next to me. Like I can't wake him up ever, he's like a rock solid, dead asleep. And these other boys come to the room. It's just one of them that comes to my bed. Okay. Initially it feels kind of good. It's like someone comforting you and loving you, but then it turns into something else…
A: What does he do next?
S: He kisses me. I don't know where… I can't…
A: Tune into that scene. Feel it on your skin. Have that experience consciously; do not escape from the scene, but know that you can always freeze it, like a frame on the screen, if it gets too intense. We're doing the opposite for a moment. Amplifying it, so you can heal from it. Does he talk to you? Does he whisper?
S: He does. He says he loves me and this is just a way of showing it.
A: So he's showing you affection, right?
A: And what happens next?
S: Okay. He takes down my pants. I don't, I don't want him to do that.
A: Of course. Just watch it, like if you were watching a projection.
S: Okay. I don't know. It's blurry. It's a blurry….
A: I tap a forehead of the client to make her see well.
S: Yeah, I remember. Sometimes he makes me do things. This is our secret. This has been our secret for a while.
A: Do you cry? Do you, um, push him away? What happens?
S: I’m completely paralyzed. Yeah, I dunno…I can't…
A: That's okay. The body knows, we can connect with the energetics and we don't need to even see all the details. We just want to have access to the energy from these events. S: It's like he's over me and he's like overshadowing me. Yeah. He's really tall. He is seven, eight years older than me.
A: Do you have an intercourse?
S: No. Huh.
A: Do you feel trapped in this situation?
S: Very much so.
A: Feel that energy and tell me where it is in your body.
S: In my arms.
A: I will touch your arms and we'll work on releasing the charge. We will have two screens open. One is the bedroom scene and on the other screen you can go back to the water. So there is a connection between the scene in the bedroom and the scene in the water. And I want you to release the tension into the water. The pressure. You can drink the water.
S: Okay. It’s funny. In the other scene, I feel like I'm levitating, right next to the waterfall!
A: Beautiful. Like you are lifted off the ground, right?
A: Notice how you can go between one experience and the other. Now, I want you to transfer that experience of levitation, transfer that energy now into the experience of being assaulted. So, even though you are watching that scene in the bedroom, I want you to bring the levitation into that scene. Can we do that?
A: Okay. Very good. So in that levitation, do you feel safe?
A: He cannot touch you. He cannot harm you. You can now replace the energy from all the attacks, not just this one scene. We're going into all the encounters you've had with him. It started earlier, right? Look through the album of your life. And I want to heal each situation. (What we are doing now is called energy transference).
S: That was, that was empowering. This guy and his brother… there is this one, one time where it was my brother and me and uh, that was, uh, they told us they were gonna…they were gonna beat us up that evening. And uh, he, uh, they started by throwing slippers at us. They locked us in the same room that they were in. They started throwing slippers at us and ridiculing us, saying things like we were worthless. And, uh, he, uh, they just had so much anger. He, uh, took a pillow and he, he put it on my face and pushed me against the bed. He pushed my face against the bed, tried to suffocate me.
A: Be there and feel the emotions. How do you feel in that scene?
S: Like I'm gonna die.
A: I want you to feel it knowing that you're not going to die but feel the emotions. Now we're going to bring again that scene from the water.
A: It will help transmute the energy.
S: The levitation feels great.
A: Transfer that energy. When you levitate, what happens?
S: No one can harm me.
A: Experience the relief that you don't have to feel this way anymore about any of these events. As you levitate, I need you to scan your body and identify where there are tentacles, connections with the fear from these situations. I want you to use the water to dissolve them. So when you look inward, find these connections in your nervous system and your organs. So, obviously that's also in the face, right? Because he's putting the pillow on your face. S: I feel it in the body and my face.
A: I want you to play with the energy of the water. Find the sensation of safety in that. You're levitating. Notice how that feels and try to lift off the ground.
S: There's a, there's this Indian, uh, god, Krishna and the uh, the image of like the Krishna as a boy showed up!
A: Krishna is very powerful, right?
A: I want you to throw this pillow off your face. Use that power of connection with Krishna, because you have that power within and show him what you can do because in this moment you're like that deity. If you can levitate, I think you can cross the room much in the same way Krishna would and the more you do it, the more it makes you feel stronger and you begin to realize that he will never touch you again. With the other stepbrother as well, he can no longer overpower you. We know that you can grow. It's not just your physical body; since you can expand, you can expand beyond this house and you can clear that dense dark energy from the house once and for all. S: I feel bigger and beautiful.
A: Keep growing until you feel like you are the right size. I want you to keep growing exponentially. You can go into space, go around the earth, go wherever you need to go. Your subconscious will take you to the right place.
S: It’s Amazing. I feel like it's okay. It's okay. It's over. The battle is over. I feel the relief. I’m in space above the Earth.
A: you can spend some time in the space among the stars, whatever feels right, wherever you'd like to go to heal all the lines of connectivity to these people and maybe there are other lives with them that co-created this traumatic experience. We want to heal that as well. So if there is information about that, how we can cut the web of connections, let’s explore it.
S: I feel a string pulling me in, it’s in my stomach.
A: Is it pulling you down towards the earth again? Let's go there. Allow yourself to drop into the lifetime or situation that is attracting you. S: I know it's Bombay, but I…,I haven't been to Bombay as an adult. I’m going somewhere, in a rickshaw. It’s a bumpy ride.
A: Connect with the body.
S: I'm a woman in my twenties or early thirties. I feel her body; she's in a rickshaw. She has a blue sari on.
A: Is she's an affluent woman or just regular?
S: Just a regular woman.
A: Look at her clothing. What are you wearing?
S: It's like a silver top and a blue sari. Her hair is long and braided.
A: Find a mirror right next to you. Pick up the mirror, look at your face.
S: Looks like medium brown hair with a big red bindi (Bindi is a coloured dot worn on the center of the forehead, originally by Hindus and Jains). Can't really tell any other features.
A: That's fine. Let's find out where are you going. You are traveling in rickshaw in Bombay; you are a woman in late twenties, early thirties. Let's find out what's your destination. Relax into it and you will receive the relevant information. Your subconscious is doing such an amazing job showing you these connections. So we are asking for that, to make sure we once and for all cut the cords connecting you with this trauma. This is really the intention here and the thread we are following. Let's find out more about her life.
S: She is not from Bombay. She's there, but she's not from there. She is from some village somewhere. A: Let’s fast forward a little bit. Let's find out why she came to Bombay. Feel your feet walking on the surface.
S: I don't think she has any particular place to go. She is just sort of looking at things. I see water, a small lake or pond maybe… I can't, maybe I can't tell more.
A: Let's be with her for a while. Maybe she's visiting the city because she's from a small village and she wants to have a big city experience. Who knows? We'll find out. Tell me more about this water.
S: It's like the park area now. It's like in the city and there's a lot of, um, it's not a beach or anything. It's like there are heavy round rocks in that area, but she's just walking by them, by the path, by the water. It's almost like a little bridge.
A: Walk on the bridge to the other side and let it connect you with memories of this woman. So as you're passing through the bridge, you are connecting deeper with her life story, details about her struggles, happiness, events that are important. S: She's really poor her when she's young. Very, very poor from like almost like a, like a really small village with like her living in like a little hut.
A: Is she walking bare feet?
S: No very, very poor shoes though. Like barely shoes.
A: Tune into the heart, go back in time, whatever is around her when she was like 11 or 12.
S: She has really dark skin, she has pigtails, her mother's there, but her mother's not really looking at her.
A: Is her father there now?
S: He's there now. He's not looking at her either.
A: I want you to tune into that scene deeper, the energy of it. So you are saying they're there, but you're saying she feels alone, right?
S: Yeah. I cannot feel them. Almost like they live in their own world. She lives in her own world. Yeah
A: Okay, so there's this feeling of abandonment or neglect. I want to zoom into the parents.
A: Walk up to the mother. I want you to look her in the eyes. Connect to the energy of the mother.
S: She, she just, she doesn't know what she's like. Almost like she's dead inside.
A: Let's go back to the girl. Do you have a name that comes up right away? What is her name?
S: Shree, Shree.
A: Are there any other kids?
S: I think they're supposed to be. There's like, there's energy that someone's there, but I think either they died or they got lost or something happened to him. Like a younger brother almost.
A: Let's go outside and look around.
S: It’s green, forestry like.
A: From what you said, being in the hut with her parents is not one of the healthiest environments. Let her show you where she goes to feel/be herself or to maybe release some of the stress from her life and pain. Does she have a place like that?
S: There's like um, a tree whose um, branch kind of extends out to the right, close to the ground. So she goes and sits there.
A: Okay. Let's sit with her. Sit there and feel her emotions.
S: She keeps on focusing on how to get out of this place, how to make things better. Uh Huh. She doesn't want to talk about what's happening now. She feels trapped and she is focused on escaping this or somehow changing the situation in some way.
A: Let's close that scene and move to the next one. You can close one scene and appear in another, when something is happening in her life that makes it relevant for you to see.
S: Oh God. Uh, she's uh, she's getting raped. She's being raped or Huh?
A: Watch. Tell me who is raping her.
S: She doesn't know him. It's like a dark alley. It's, and it's like I’m in a city, but it's like a quiet alley. (When client identifies with the subject seen in hypnotic state and uses forms like: “I am”, it indicates a deep trance state) A: How old are you?
S: A bit older. I’m like 30.
A: Are you trying to escape? What are you doing?
S: I’m shocked by what's happening. I’m trying to escape, but the guy like pushed me, pushed up against, it's like, it's a wall, I’m standing, pushed up against a wall. He is holding both of my arms behind my back. Yeah. Yeah. He lifts me up, trying to rip my skirt off.
A: When you feel this violation for a moment, when does the energy enter your body? I want you to optimize your inner vision, so you can see his eyes, the perpetrator. Tell me if you recognize his energy from your current life or from any other life.
S: I can't turn around. I can't see.
A: Let's connect with the part of you that can levitate and zoom, get closer to this guy, turn around and look at him, look him in the eyes.
S: Okay. I don't know. I know it doesn't look like anyone I recognize, but the energy is the same as someone that just wants to take something away from you.
A: Let's open the screen with you levitating, next the assault scene. Bring that energy of Krishna as a boy you saw earlier. Now let's grow. Let's make sure you grow and expand the energy field of that woman. So she can see herself getting stronger. Show him what she's capable of.
S: Oh my gosh! She just stopped him! Wow. I don't know where she got that knife from, but she just stabbed him in the gut without any kind of hesitation, she just went for it.
A: I want you to feel the empowerment, that freeing sensation from this act of freeing yourself. She had so much power to stop him and free herself, now make it yours, absorb that feeling, integrate it.
S: I’m feeling stronger.
A: Let's see what happens next in her life. So she killed him.
S: He is gone.
A: We're not concerned about logic or chronology here. We are topping into whatever's relevant, whatever can help you today. So she was a tough cookie. She grew up in a small village, was neglected by her parents, and she was determined to make her life better. When in the city, she experienced a sexual assault, a violent act of disrespect. Let's see what else is happening in her life that we should connect with.
S: She doesn't feel free. She doesn't feel free.
A: Scan the energy around her body, scan her emotions, her mind. Let's find out what is keeping her hostage mentally, emotionally. What is preventing her from changing her life for the better?
S: She doesn't think she, she doesn't think she'll ever have the love that she wants or she needs, she wants to. She keeps herself small, isolated. Even though she was able to free herself from the rapist.
A: Huh. Okay.
S: Yeah. She feels so contracted.
A: Where do you feel the contraction?
S: In my stomach.
A: Let's bring the energy from the waterfall again. Drink plenty of this crystalline water, so we can dissolve the contractions. We will spend as much time as we need there, because we want you to dissolve your connection with that woman and her life story. Do you see the similarities between your life and her life, how her connection into your stomach created a very similar experience of feeling very small and we're here to heal that. Let’s send her love, compassion and acknowledgment that she has done tremendous work, especially considering that she’s living in India, in the cast system.
S: Yeah. She is like without a…without a backbone. She keeps walking without the spine, keeps moving without direction. A: So like you said, she was in a city but she didn't have a direction or a plan, nor anyone to ask for help from.
S: She has only been there once as a child.
A: When you're looking at the timeline, what does it seem like to you? Look at the styles of clothing of the people around.
S: It looks like early eighties, maybe a little earlier.
A: Take me now to the last day of her life. Has she ever found love, her backbone and support? How did she die?
A: Let's follow her to the last day of her life.
S: It doesn't go past her thirties. She died quickly. Car accident.
A: When the body separates from the spirit and spirit separates from the body, follow the energy and see if she reached the light and was able to free herself.
S: Oh, just felt something weird in my right hip.
A: Feel that cause she's separating.
S: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Not Quite. I don't think she ever understood why all this happened.
A: Let’s bring Krishna into this realm to help her. Comfort her. Together we can create a bridge for her to cross over. Can she feel how you felt when you were levitating and you were growing bigger and bigger? Share that capacity with her so that she can also free herself. S: Okay. Okay. It's like that little girl; she's like, come on man. Oh, she's struggling.
A: Okay, let's help her. Let's see what she's struggling with. What is the struggle? What does she need from us? What can we do for her to make sure that she can lighten up enough to let go of you.
S: She doesn't feel like she has the unconditional love. The feeling that she can just be who she is and be loved just from that space.
A: Okay. We need to show her that it is possible. Because it seems like she doesn't quite believe it is possible. S: Yeah.
A: I would like for you to create a sphere and you are going to project into a possible future life of her. We're going to project into a life when she feels absolutely empowered; love flowing into her life, emanating from her. Let's look for an inspiring life that can set her free. Visualize a sphere, you can walk into it; it opens up like an album of life.
S: It's like two very loving, caring parents.
A: Feel that love and tell me how they express it.
S: It's in their energy, the way they look at her.
A: Send it to her; send it to Shree so she can feel the energy as well. S: So they're attentive, very patient. She's perfect in their eyes as she is, she does not have to do anything to prove it, and she is fully accepted.
S: When you feel that, extend that to her, especially into your stomach and hip, where you had this sensation, so that we can heal your wound as well as her wounds. Soak up all that energy from the happy life. The girl grows up, how does her life unfold?
S: It’s just very free. Negativity doesn't go through her.
A: I want you to scan her fully because we can learn from her, her calm energy, her mind. Obviously she's immune to negativity witch passes through her. I want you to create a web, a golden web between you and her and I want you to use this web to help you learn and absorb her abilities.
S: She is so powerful!
A: Can you tell me more?
S: Her brain, it's just so like it works for her. It continuously provides a support and thoughts of positivity and encouragement and she's, she's brilliant. Very clear.
A: Absorb that as well through the Golden Web and make her brain yours. The brilliancy. The clarity.
A: Confident in any situation. I want you to become her and walk like her. See how that feels in your own body and we want to share this energy with Shree as well so she can also believe.
S: Hmm, her spine lit up.
A: Beautiful. So you were also connected through the spine, huh?
S: In the spine, all throughout.
A: Let this light pass through your spine as well. Does it feel like an electric current? How do you experience that?
S: Feels like stability. Stability, strong core. Yeah. Yeah. A: And that young woman, how does her life unfold? You said she has a brilliant mind.
S: She's confident. She's so free.
A: Do we have any information about how she uses her genius?
S: Very focused when she, when her mind creates something that does feel very official in some sense. Uh, okay. Okay. She's drawing something on paper, very focused.
A: Touch the paper, the pen or pencils or whatever she's using to draw. Follow her fingers.
S: I can't really tell what exactly she is drawing. Okay. So what she's doing is, I'm serving the community. I have finished some kind of design. That design has been built, created to a Garden, with a fountain in the center.
A: Garden, Huh? Let's walk into the garden, to the beautiful fountain right in the center. Shree can come as well. I want all of you to be there, the three of you.
S: The girls are holding hands.
A: So even though all of you are coming from very different backgrounds, you are connected. Show that connection, feel that bond.
S: That's pretty precious.
A: I want you to feel how is it to be very vulnerable with them. Open up about your life and feel the support. You're in this garden with these women. You are getting strong. All you have a powerful story to tell; they accept you and love you.
S: My spine has lid up again, it feels a bit overwhelming…
A: Create this bond so you have access to the brilliancy of this girl who grew up in a very safe, loving environment and that other girl - Shree who fought for her life, did everything she could to make her life better. Notice her efforts as well and her struggles. Do you feel comfortable and safe?
S: Yeah. Almost like we don't need to talk. We just get it. Yeah. It feels very light.
A: Let's use this energy of support to connect to your higher self. I would like to ask some questions to help you find clarity and healing. Can I ask questions to your higher self (subconscious mind, divine source within)?
A: I wanted to ask, why did your subconscious (SC) connect you with these two lives? What are the lessons? Why was it important for you to see these particular two particular women’s experiences? Your subconscious could've shown you all kinds of other things.
S: There is a part of me that I dislike.
A: Okay, let's talk about that. Let's go deeper. Connect to that. Sink into it. Tell me where do you feel that.
S: Stronger on the right side of my body. It’s big. It's like in my arms, my legs and my torso. A: Sink into that discomfort, dis-likeness.
S: It feels tainted, like something is dirty.
A: Dirty. Uh Huh. Maybe we should, they should go to the waterfalls?
S: Yeah, the waterfalls.
A: The one that made you levitate?
A: Okay. Can you show Shree how to purify herself? Just kind of become a kid again.
A: Let's help go back in time. Shrink or banish the ballast.
S: Shrinking. Yeah. Before all of this happened, right?
A: Yes. We can go back further.
S: Okay. Further to another life?
A: No, to like baby, a newborn.
S: Okay. Yeah. I’m holding her.
A: So you're like a mom to her now, right? Do you need to breast feed her? What comes naturally to you?
S: Just to cuddle with her. Feel her next to me.
A: Okay, let's do that. Tell her she's beautiful. Show her affection. See the energy affecting her. Now connect to that levitating part of you, which can go beyond time and space. You want to include Shree in this space. Bringing that male example of a loving parent, caring, gentle. We're calling upon all your connections in the Universe. Future, past meeting in this moment. Calling upon the divine masculine. S: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I keep getting images of like my dad from photos.
A: Connect or his energy. You mentioned how close you were to him. Right?
S: I got a clear memory of him holding me.
A: Hold the baby as well. S: Yeah. A: Is it helping? S: Yeah, somewhat but there is something strange. She got this intense like energy around her, it appeals impenetrable sometimes. A: Let's use your abilities. Scan her body.
S: There's like black energy around her, just like around my house.
A: I remember you cleared that energy around the house. How did you do that?
S: I started growing. Yeah, I got bigger.
A: Can you do that?
A: Become as big as before. Even bigger if necessary and let's connect to the Source. Whatever help we can get today in order to dissolve the density of little Shree. Maybe your father has some ideas?
S: She needs like a prayer or something. Yeah, like a ritual. Yeah.
A: Let's pray for her. Connect to your higher self. You know how to pray and if there's anything specific you need to say out loud or mantra or any other form of a prayer. Let's do that.
S recites an inaudible prayer for a couple of minutes.
A: It's hard work, isn't it?
S: It's like unrelenting stuff.
A: We'll find it. We'll find a way. We should bring some big forces in this Universe, right?
S: Yeah. Yeah.
A: So let's bring Hindu gods, ascended masters, angels and let them float all around you. If you want to call upon Krishna, if you want to call upon Jesus, creative energy of the Universe in whatever form it wants to appear, let's do that. We're calling upon multidimensional powerful beings to assist us.
S: It’s cracking! Uh Huh.
A: Her body?
S: No, the darkness, the dark field around her. Light is coming through. They broke, broke like a glass. It has been shattered and it disappeared!
A: So this darkness is no longer there?
S: It's gone.
A: So she's in a pure state now. We're so grateful. What needs to happen next? Do you need to hold her again?
S: No, she can just levitate on her own. I can only see her as a baby though. I can't see her as an adult.
A: That's okay. She gained her innocence.
S: Oh, her purity.
A: Absorb that purity. I want you to connect with her. Both of you are levitating, you have no stories affecting you. This is the purest state. I want you to share that sacred space, that energy. Maybe you can also become a newborn and float with her? Reborn. You can bring that energy into your adult body.
So Shree believes now, right?
S: She knows who she is underneath these layers. She found out what she is.
A: Okay. I want you to make this energy yours.
S: Yeah. Okay. Yeah. A: What needs to happen next to feel fully complete this process, S: I think Shree can go to the light now. And maybe this other woman too. She has her own life to live.
A: Her own journey, right?
S face expresses sadness.
A: You feel a little alone, Huh?
A: Let's see how we can change that. How can we make sure that you're tapped in to the whole universe inside you and around you. Let's talk to your subconscious and ask for guidance. How can N feel like she has friends around, good company? Relax into your own being. S: Okay. A: Tell me what comes to you, what needs to happen now that you let go of the past. You helped heal Shree, she was living inside of you for your entire lifetime up until now. S: Yeah.
A: Obviously it's a little strange because now this space inside feels empty, right?
A: We need to put something into your body. Different energy. Do you want to feel that light which helped crack the glass around Shree?
S: Yeah. I want to feel newness. Um, power.
A: Let's bring these energies from this woman - designer. She was very powerful, right?
A: Connect to all the powerful moments from today's session; for example, when you smashed that guy in the bedroom of your parents' house.
A: What else was powerful?
S: Stabbing the rapist.
A: We want the energy of that moment to integrate with your nervous system. Take a deep inhale, swallow and make it yours. S: Yeah. And levitation. Growing beyond the limits of earth.
A: Connect to that. These are states of being; they are not physical in nature. These are frequencies. Let it fill you completely. All the parts that were occupied by Shree; you mentioned the arms, legs, torso, practically your entire body.
S: Okay. I'm going to feel confident. I can, yeah, yeah. A: Which one was the confident?
S: The designer.
A: Okay. Again, I want you to meet her. S: Yeah. A: Like a ghost, enter her body and become her. Let's watch her. How does she interact with people and with men, right?
A: I want her to show you how she acts in social functions.
S: She is really at ease. Smiles. She is comfortable in her own body. A: What does she do everyday in order to maintain this confidence?
S: Positive thoughts. She tells herself good things about herself all day.
A: Okay, so she watches her thoughts?
S: Yeah. Uh Huh. She continuously supports that state of being, wellness within her, within her thoughts.
A: Any ideas how you can do that as well? Do you need a reminder in a form of images, posters? Something around you that will help you tune in to the designer, to her way of being. Or can you do it mentally?
S: I think just making sure darkness doesn't s sink back. Regular meditation.
A: Scan your body and tell me if there are any weaker spots in your energy field. Let’s bring the team of gods again with that light that broke the glass, which shot or the darkness around the baby. Let's make sure we seal you.
S: Okay. So the right side of my body, it feels like numb and weird.
A: Let's bring that light into the right side of the body. The one that helped break through the shadow and dissolved the darkness; repair your energy field, your nervous system, the synaptic connections in the brain. Then let the light repair the physical body, because obviously emotions affect the body. The thoughts affect the body as well. We will continue repairing until you tell me it's finished. Until you feel an absolute comfort in your body.
S: Okay. Few minutes later….
S: Okay. I still have the sensation of like aloneness and like loneliness.
A: I have an idea…I would like for you to walk into a beautiful theater so we can project into your own future.
A: We will ask for a direct communication from your higher mind, to show you how to address the loneliness, because there is a fear that “I'm all alone”, is that right? Can you be more specific? What is that persistent lingering feeling? S: That's almost like emptiness. Like a, when everything quiets down, there's an emptiness.
A: Is it because you associate quietness with emptiness?
A: Visualize sitting comfortably, maybe in a garden first, then in your apartment; sit in meditation and allow yourself to meditate for a while and let's just see what happens. You go into a deep meditative trance; meaning that you're observing your breath as it comes and goes and you keep scanning your body, traveling up and down; do it for a little bit. Become as still, as quiet as you possibly can. S: Okay.
2-3 minutes later…
S: Oh, it shows the way I'm seeing myself. That's all that is. It's not real. Okay, so I have an image or even a story around being alone; I recognize the negative projection, because I feel good in the meditative state.
A: Okay. Let's go back to the purifying water one more time and cleanse the attachments to action. We don't have to do any action in order to feel good, feel complete.
S: Right. We can be quiet, in a meditative state and feel absolutely fulfilled.
A: Release the story. Maybe you can visualize yourself floating, levitating above the surface of the water, in meditation, like you did before?
S: Yeah. A: Let it create so much joy right now that you take the energy from this moment and fill yourself up, so you are very much inspired to meditate daily and go back to this beautiful waterfall; meditating and levitating. The portal has opened up, you have access to it. All you have to do is to accept it.
S: Yeah. And utilize it.
A: Now let's project into your own apartment. You are recreating the same state of consciousness when meditating on a cushion in the comfort of your home. N smiles broadly. And you feel the same joy, right?
A: What else do you feel?
S: Yeah, yeah. Space. Cool space for creativity or whatever I want to fill it with. Yeah.
A: So you're freeing up all this energy right now. What would you like to do with this potential energy? S: Create something. I want to choreograph something. Choreograph some, some creative expression. Yeah, like dance.
A: Okay. So you have to start moving.
A: You need to do, it's absolutely essential. Sit on the sofa, on your couch, where you watch movies. Turn the TV on. This is a direct transmission from your higher mind to your conscious awareness. What do you need to create with all of this energy?
S: Beauty. Beauty in my living space, beauty in that living room. I mean I need to start fresh.
A: You mean redesigning your space?
S: Yeah, because I live in it every day.
A: And what about your medical practice? Let's project a couple of years into the future. You have redecorated your space, sit in it.
S: I have a new table in my living room. It looks beautiful.
A: Now, you feel even more freedom when you walk into your space, ideas are flowing. What comes to you right away, when you think about your profession?
S: Hmm. It's on a group basis. Yeah, it's not so individualized. It's not so focused on the office space. It needs to be outside of the office space. And there's other ways of healing that are used. So maybe having like a holistic office or some sort of practice where I combine nature and art therapy. Yeah. Mindfulness. Yeah. Now I see myself doing energy healing, so maybe I need to learn Reiki, get certified as a medical intuitive. Medical intuitive. Yeah. Yeah.Yup. I feel like a retreat. Almost like somewhere where there's only nature, we're surrounded by beauty.
A: Who else do you see with you?
S: Two other healers. There's yoga and just sitting by the water. People just feel so good, they have a chance to come back to themselves, the healers have strong vibrations, they have energy to tune into other people so they can shift their, their emotional state just by being around them.
A: So just the presence, it's not even what do you do?
S: Right, right. Presence. The nature combined with the presence of the healers, the experience and the conversations that go on are not conversations coming from this, from being on this earth for real. When people almost forget where they are in those because they speak their truth. A: So the words come from a different space altogether?
S: Yeah. Not from the conscious mind and the programming.
A: It seems like some exciting changes coming your way? Do you accept this as your path?
A: Let's make sure we connect the heart & the mind and that there's cohesiveness between the heart chakra, the throat chakra and your thoughts. So there is a flow and cohesion. There is no conflict between the higher mind and the physical mind. (I help create the cohesion by touching lightly the client’s horsehead, throat and heart at the same time).
Did this session help you clear the symptom; the emotional, physical and mental symptoms?
S: Yeah, cause it's given me clarity.
A: Beautiful, accept it as yours. Create a beautiful symbol in your mind and bind it with the state of clarity, so you have a tangible experience with this clarity. This is not a temporary state. This is your being. This is who I am, this is what I accept. I stepped into that role. Like I step into the center of the stage and claim it.
S: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A: Is there anything else that we should address in this session?
S: No. I am calm, my body is calm, my mind is quiet. A: Let's bathe in this peace for a while, drink it up. Imprinting that truth within yourself, that connection you chose today so you don't question your deservability from now on. The deeper you breathe, the clearer the thoughts, stronger the inner peace emanating from you. I have rewritten my story and I'm no longer connected to the past. I used it to propel me forward on my path. I am grateful.